Stories of Hope Interview

Photo: September 2016. My niece is helping me show off my custom menswear business. As always, she steals the show! The following is an Interview that I wrote for David Susman's Stories of Hope series. David is a PhD, Clinical psychologist, mental health advocate, professor, and writer. He shares resources and inspiration for better mental... Continue Reading →

College & Misdiagnosis

Photo of me raising the roof as I walk towards Washington State University President Elson Floyd, 2011 Getting into USC for undergrad was a dream come true. But soon though life caught up with me and I was faced with a choice. My boyfriend of 7 years had a football scholarship at WSU but struggled... Continue Reading →

Never Going Back Again

Spring 2014, a week or so before my psychotic break. I took this selfie on the bus to work. My uncontrollable emotions felt different that day and I wanted to remember it. I had been crying all morning, totally inconsolably. I was deeply sad. A boy I liked didn't want a relationship with me, work... Continue Reading →

A Cowboy Broke My Heart

Late summer 2013, somewhere in the wine country of Northern California. He's asked me several times if he was the cause. The reason I went mad. I say no, it was going to happen anyway. It would have been triggered by something or somebody else. Plus work was stressful too. I know deep down though,... Continue Reading →

The Big Mania

[WARNING: Intense Subject Matter] March 2014, days before psychosis. I was packing for an annual girl's trip with grade school friends. I was unaware, but mania had been ramping for months and people were noticing, especially my work. I was agitated with grandiose ideas, and hyper goal-oriented. My brain was making so many connections. I... Continue Reading →

Carol, Part 1

[WARNING: Disturbing Content] Carol haunts my nightmares. She disturbed me so deeply that during my recovery I had to avoid homeless people and little old women. Yes, little old women. I suffered PTSD-like anxiety, according to my psychiatrist... He sent me to see a specialist for it. *March 2014. Sometime between mania and psychosis. Fired... Continue Reading →

Carol, Part 2

[WARNING: Disturbing Content] March 2014 As the uber arrived at my apartment my body became partially possessed. My hand slowly tipped forward and poured water into my lap. It seeped into my lower half as I thanked the driver. He gave me his card. I could call if I was in danger. But the energy... Continue Reading →

The Spell Was Broken

[WARNING: Disturbing Content] Psychosis, March 2014 When I entered my apartment I tried to explain to my guy friend and my roommate what had happened. They sat on either side of me on my bed. He told me I must call my parents. It was too strange, I need to tell them. Quickly my mom... Continue Reading →

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