My Father’s Daughter

From a young age we forged an extraordinary bond. I adored him for the cool things he did with me and my sister. He taught me how to ski at three and golf by eight. Always the fun dad, cool dad, nice dad. He has a spirit for life matched by few, and he shared it with me.

He is smart. Like really, really smart. The owner of a thriving thirty year old financial practice, Dad’s always been passionate about his work and the people he helps. When I went away to college, I became married to the idea that I would be just like Dad. I would go study whatever my heart desired, work for awhile, then get my MBA. Just like him. I thought maybe I could take over his company some day.

In the psych ward my family was there. Mom, Dad, my sister Morgan, and my aunt and uncle Bonnie and Mike. My closest friends talked to me daily over the phone. Each person worked to convince me to comply with taking medicine. But western medicine was a conspiracy, they were trying to steal my magic.

My dad finally was able to switch the flip for me. I remember sitting in a private room with him. He had just negotiated with the head doctor and found an outpatient recovery program for me. We could all go stay with Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Mike in Los Angeles and I would be free of this place. Julia, I’m getting you out of here. You have to trust me. You trust me right? I nodded my head.

Even in my deepest psychosis, I knew he was on my side. He really loved me, it was true. The doctors said the only way they would release me was if I took medicine. He begged me, please take the medicine. Once you’re out of here we can reevaluate, but please let me help you Julia. Just take the goddam medicine.

I did. In a few days the doctors let me out early, on the premise that I was being admitted into a program in Los Angeles. We were on our way and by then I had come out of psychosis enough to understand that at least temporarily, medicine was my only hope.