College & Misdiagnosis

Photo of me raising the roof as I walk towards Washington State University President Elson Floyd, 2011 Getting into USC for undergrad was a dream come true. But soon though life caught up with me and I was faced with a choice. My boyfriend of 7 years had a football scholarship at WSU but struggled... Continue Reading →

A Cowboy Broke My Heart

Late summer 2013, somewhere in the wine country of Northern California. He's asked me several times if he was the cause. The reason I went mad. I say no, it was going to happen anyway. It would have been triggered by something or somebody else. Plus work was stressful too. I know deep down though,... Continue Reading →

The Pregnant Woman

WARNING: disturbing content. Psychosis, Psychiatric Emergency Room, 2014 [Drawings of my hallucinations from my time in the psychiatric ward after the ER] I sat on the cold tiled floor with my legs crossed, patiently watching the scene play out in front of me. I had been asked to keep still by the staff after my... Continue Reading →

I’m Sorry, Carol

San Francisco, May 2014 In the months leading to my psychosis surfing was a retreat from the stresses of life. Me and a few girlfriends bought thick wet suits and hit the beach on the weekends. I wasn’t good but I loved it. Upon completing outpatient recovery I thought I could return to my life.... Continue Reading →

Hiding, Recovering

Photo: May 16, 2014. Smokin’ one of Dad’s stogies on the beach. My life as I knew it was over. Retreat into oblivion, nothingness. I was nobody and I had no agenda. My parents wrapped me up into their cocoon for safe hibernation. For what felt like forever. I took this selfie at my family’s... Continue Reading →

Wake Up and Be Awesome

Photo taken in 2015, a year post-hospitalization I snapped a pic to remember this shirt when I bought it on a fishing trip with my dad. I was still having a hard time getting my self esteem back, but I was at a tipping point. I wanted to make my life happier. In addition to... Continue Reading →

Strength, Survival and Snowboarding

The physical toll of psychosis and recovery was massive. Unable to control my own movements, I twirled around in circles for days without eating to the shock of my friends, family and even hospital staff. Pure adrenaline fueled my body through that long physical and psychological trauma. But I survived. While in recovery, medication slowed... Continue Reading →

Spirituality and Mania

Easter, March 27, 2016 This photo was taken at my friend’s family's Easter dinner. It was just weeks before I had a manic episode which was my first and only major relapse since the hospital. The cross hanging in the background is fitting. I tend to adopt a fascination with religion, spirituality and the supernatural... Continue Reading →

Saint Eric, Manic Episode

Manic Relapse, March 2016 (Photo from first year of college, 2008) Around the two year anniversary of my hospitalization I had a manic episode that was triggered by weeks of stress and three days of forgotten medicine. Something was after me. I had to run. I dressed in all black and filled a huge heavy... Continue Reading →

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